Off to the Castle!

Well, it’s Tuesday night and tomorrow I head to “the castle”, a term I learned from my HysterSisters (an unbelievable online resource for women having hysterectomies around the world).

I love thinking of the hospital as my “castle.” Its taken me a long time to come to terms with having an operation. For many weeks I kept repeating the phrase “this operation is not a healing, that comes afterwards”, but recently my thinking has shifted. “The castle” most definitely is a place for healing and so is this operation.

Yes, sure, Carolyn Myss will tell me my second chakra is out of balance and she’s right; I get that I have to do more healing around the trauma in Tanzania and loosing all our stuff (and eventually money); I know that there are many, many projects I need to give birth to and I can’t let family or small stuff stand in the way. But embracing “the castle” as part of my healing is a big step for me.

The moment I began to shift my thinking was when suddenly rock-star doctors appeared. No,  healers. For this, I am thankful.

So it’s “off to the castle” for me! Tonight I prepare with a poem:

Listening to the darkness turn to light,

I close the door in silence to my fate,

creeping through my dreams,

a Princess calls,

Knowing tomorrow will be her awakening.

Pink terrifies me,

Black is black,

I close my eyes,

waking,

to light.

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Bye Bye Uterus


There ‘s no uterus like my uterus, No, uterus I know. So go Uterus, Just  go Uterus,  just go… Bye, bye Uterus.

Get the uterus out of here.
love ya,
Caté

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rebirthing

The letting go is always hard, because the outcome is uncertain.
On Wednesday, I believe you will lose your ‘uterus’ in a form of rebirthing… this time a birthing of yourself – shifting your focus from ‘fertility that’s physically bound to the fertility that is spirit based – spacious, unbounded and free.
hold your dreams in your heart Karen and have faith … I have watched you champion so many things in your life large and small and seen you grow in grace and strength.
and when the journey feels rough, open your heart to all those that love and support you
there are so many of us!

xxx
Ruta

PS if you haven’t already, check out http://www.hystersisters.com – full of helpful stuff!

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No Resistance, No Suffering

  Karen,

Thank you for inviting us (me) to be part of this party to honor you and your uterus!! It has served you so well and now it is time to say good bye, farewell, and to thank her for her gifts….as you transition to life without her.  YOU are such an inspiration to me—I know this isn’t easy and I am so glad to see that you are embracing and celebrating the positive pain free future that this path will bring to you— A new birth indeed—even as I’m sure you are grieving the loss.  

You are a POWERFUL, STRONG, CREATIVE, SEXY, BEAUTIFUL, FUNNY, SMART WOMAN AND A FABULOUS MOTHER. And now you can be all of these things without all the pain, bleeding and physical suffering that you have endured for countless years.

Your wisdom about resistance is so right on—The more we resist, the more we suffer. So go forward with an open heart, ready to receive whatever comes your way.

I love you so much Karen, and am grateful for your friendship over the years.

At 6:30 am PST on Wednesday, I will be driving down the coast to a conference in Monterey. I’ll be sure to send you lots of love and light as I gaze out over the beautiful Pacific Ocean.

All the best for a safe operation, and a healthy recovery. I will be thinking about you and wishing you much love and strength over the coming weeks.

Many blessings and big hugs to you, Kari

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Only you!

My beloved friend,

As said by Annete, who else could think something like that? Only you! She is right: you’re one of the most creative persons I’ve have ever met. Let’s talk about you uterus now.

I was witness in a couple of times of your suffering when your period was to come. Migraines, headaches, pain, the general discomfort… And I can’t lie that I’m happy that you will be free of these days soon.

In the other hand though I can imagine how hard was to you to decide something so peremptory, thinking about your thoughts and trajetory of being solidary with the women’s uterus and birth stories. This idea of celebrating you uterus just highlights the commitment you have with the women’s (and yourself’s) capacity to generate not only children, but creative, power, courage and sensitivity.

Hope your new birth happens in a safe, light and joy way. You have given light to two wonderful boys and they will shine your life forever. Your uterus has elated – this word I had to look up in the dictionary 🙂 – you and its time to let it go.

A long hug, lot of smiles and big kiss, full of love,

Shirley Villela

(from Brazil)

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In Celebration of Your You-terus

Before coming to your “Farewell to my Uterus Party” – I thought for a few days about what I wanted to say.

  • Did I want to talk about how your uterus ushered in Jacob and Aden? Two sparkling lights that make me smile every time I see them.
  • Did I want to pay tribute to your uterus for making it through so gracefully through so many emotional moves with you – England, Africa, New York, Washington DC, Arkansas? Your uterus has been along for quite a ride – a steady companion – a trusthworthy clock.
  • Did I want to write about how your uterus was a pivotal part of the inspiration for the BOLD movement which I know has helped thousands of women have better births and tens of thousands of women release their birth baggage?

No, in the end it was none of that. In the end, it came down the fact to my friend losing a part of herself and I want to honor that the loss is physically and emotionally complex. You are smart and strong and I know you have thought long and hard about this but for me, it’s not just about saying farewell your uterus – it’s about telling you how much I love and respect YOU and what you are going through.

I want you to know that I honor this brave journey. I respect that it’s BIG and if any doctor or nurse says something in passing like “This is really a quick and easy process” or “You’ll heal quickly. It isn’t a big thing.” or “This is such a simple procedure now.” I want you to know, I know it’s so much more than that. Whether it’s medically easy or hard — Whether you heal quickly or slowly — Whether it’s clean or complicated…. holistically speaking, it’s big and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

What I realized though is that your uterus may be leaving – but your You-terus is fully intact.

  • Your You-terus is the most fertile part of you – the part that is always pregnant with ideas.
  • Your You-terus provides a structural, moral integrity to the systems that surround it – your ideas, wishes, hopes and dreams – they are irrevocably connected.
  • Your You-terus provides a warm, safe, nurturing environment for your creativity.
  • Your You-terus will always be able to contract, expand, and give birth — as you are an unstoppable creator.
  • And Your You-terus, which learned a lot from your uterus by the way, can never, ever, be removed.

So here is my gift… Maybe you know it already but when you read it this time, think of it as a poem for your You-terus sent with my love – the bold marking are mine as those passages reminded me most of you. Love, Angela

In Celebration of My Uterus

by Anne Sexton

Everyone in me is a bird.
I am beating all my wings.
They wanted to cut you out
but they will not.
They said you were immeasurably empty
but you are not.
They said you were sick unto dying
but they were wrong.
You are singing like a school girl.
You are not torn.
Sweet weight,
in celebration of the woman I am
and of the soul of the woman I am
and of the central creature and its delight
I sing for you. I dare to live.
Hello, spirit. Hello, cup.
Fasten, cover. Cover that does contain.
Hello to the soil of the fields.
Welcome, roots.
Each cell has a life.
There is enough here to please a nation.
It is enough that the populace own these goods.
Any person, any commonwealth would say of it,
“It is good this year that we may plant again
and think forward to a harvest.
A blight had been forecast and has been cast out.”
Many women are singing together of this:
one is in a shoe factory cursing the machine,
one is at the aquarium tending a seal,
one is dull at the wheel of her Ford,
one is at the toll gate collecting,
one is tying the cord of a calf in Arizona,
one is straddling a cello in Russia,
one is shifting pots on the stove in Egypt,
one is painting her bedroom walls moon color,
one is dying but remembering a breakfast,
one is stretching on her mat in Thailand,
one is wiping the ass of her child,
one is staring out the window of a train
in the middle of Wyoming and one is
anywhere and some are everywhere and all
seem to be singing, although some can not
sing a note.
Sweet weight,
in celebration of the woman I am
let me carry a ten-foot scarf,
let me drum for the nineteen-year-olds,
let me carry bowls for the offering
(if that is my part).
Let me study the cardiovascular tissue,
let me examine the angular distance of meteors,
let me suck on the stems of flowers
(if that is my part).
Let me make certain tribal figures
(if that is my part).
For this thing the body needs
let me sing
for the supper,
for the kissing,
for the correct
yes.

Anne Sexton, “In Celebration of My Uterus” from The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1981). Copyright © 1981 by Linda Gray Sexton and Loring Conant, Jr. Reprinted with the permission of Sterling Lord Literistic, Inc.

Source: The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1981)

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LOVE

Dearest Karen,

Your uterus has carried and delivered two shining examples of what the human entire race should be. It’s job was done perfectly and now.. it is time to let it go. And now you will continue to bloom giving to this world even more than you already do.

I send you all love and protection that I can give to shine your light and continue on your journey in a strong and unequaled way!

xxxxxxxxxoooooooooooo

mom

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